I have Variable Speed set to Slow 75%, Fast 125%.
To stop and relisten, set your Auto-Backstep on Stop to something between 1000 and 5000 ms (ie. between 1 and 5 seconds). I have mine set to 2000 ms.
In the Rewind and Fast-Forward box, I have Constant Speed
Rewind Step (ms) 400 Speed (%) 400 (but can go as high as 800%)
Forward Step (ms) 400 Speed (%) 400
Have a go at these and see how you go. If you want more Backstep on Stop, just increase to 2500 or 3000 ms (2.5 or 3 seconds) and test it to see what you prefer.
You may also want to increase the Rewind and Fast Forward settings, or change to Increasing Speed. It's mostly personal preference.